Shout It, Sing It, Weep It If You Have To
It's one thing to be convicted and motivated by a devotion. It's quite another to seize that conviction and follow through when the trials come. I write from experience: how many beautifully-articulated devotions have I read on the subject of trust, only to despair the moment I felt a tremour in the ground beneath my feet?
Trust is tricky. It requires an understanding of our lack of control before it can be activated, but sometimes we might be fooled into thinking that trust means never feeling out of control at all. That is not necessarily a biblical stance. We are never promised a feeling of constant stability and security—what we are promised is a God who will be our stability and security when the world around us seems to crumble.
Another lie Satan may be telling you about trust that he has certainly used against me: if you need to ask God for help, you've already failed the test.
False. God's word is filled with examples of godly men and women seeking His face for guidance and strength amidst terrible uncertainty, and He blessed them for that. Throughout Scripture, we are called to cast our cares upon Him, to come boldly before His throne of grace, to ask and receive, to seek His face and call upon Him in our need. Never does God give us the impression in His word that our desperate need for His nearness is a nuisance to Him. Never does He berate or deride those who seek Him in a time of uncertainty.
Jesus healed a father's demon-possessed child despite that man's shaky faith. The man that came before him with his afflicted son believed that Jesus could heal him, but doubted as well, and he cried out to Christ, "Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)
Jesus rewarded this man's trust by healing his son, and I find incredible comfort in the story of this man whose faith was flawed, but determined. Who chose to trust.
Trusting God doesn't mean that we never feel uncertain, that we have all the answers or never question where our path is leading. I am guilty of all of those things, and the temptation to despair or collapse beneath a burden of stress is there even now, just beneath the surface of my blogger's calm. But trust, as the father of the demon-possessed child shows us, is more than just a reflex, something beyond our control. Trust is a choice. It's a mission. It's saying, Lord, I am freaking out right now, but you know what? I TRUST YOU. I trust you, Jesus. Your will be done. I TRUST YOU.
There is an incredible power in those three words. A power to reshape the very state of your mind, and to reinforce that struggling seed of faith within you. Write it out. Say it aloud. Shout it, sing it, weep it if you have to. Trust is a battle just like anything else, and just like with Jesus, the deeper you dive, the more it will fill you to the brim.