To Consult My Compass
Sometimes I feel like a Lost Girl. Like I took a wrong turn at the second star on the right and ended up a thousand miles from Neverland, in the middle of nowhere, trying to figure out if I'm where I'm supposed to be or if I'm supposed to course-correct and if so, where to?
I've never heard God's voice giving me GPS directions. Some people have, and I think that's an incredible blessing, but it just hasn't been my experience. Looking back on the past few years, an outsider looking in might think I navigated my own way through writing a book, self-publishing, un-publishing, starting an AuthorTube channel, choosing my university major—and sometimes, I must confess, I feel the same. Despite my prayers and the spiritual advice I sought while making these choices, sometimes it feels like somewhere along the line, I might have missed my exit.
This kind of thinking is inevitable. We have an extremely limited view of what God has in store for us and sometimes, it can be hard to know if we're in the right place or not. That, however, is where faith becomes our compass, the only true guide we have. Even if we don't get step-by-step instructions delivered by angel to our front doors, we have faith to steer us off the paths that lead away from God and faith to remind us that whatever path we end up on after that is part of God's plan for our lives.
In my experience, the more time I spend in one place, spinning around and around and consulting my map at different angles and working myself into a state because how can this be the right place for me?, the less I think about my compass. In fact, over the last little while, I've been so discouraged by my fear that I'm in the wrong major, that maybe I'm not supposed to be in school at all, that it took weeks—weeks—for me to stop obsessing and just ask God, Lord, where do you want me?
I couldn't believe my own blind spot. All that time spent wondering and worrying about where I was supposed to be, and I didn't think to just ask? To just give that fear to God?
James 4:2 says, "You have not because you ask not." But even so, now having asked, I don't need mailed instructions delivered by Angel Post from heaven today; in fact, if I don't hear an explicit answer, I won't even mind. I just felt so much better after posing the question. Like I was consulting my compass for the first time in weeks, and remembering that when it's time to course-correct, God will let me know.
That's faith. And faith will always get us where we're going if we trust that God's route is the right one.
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