So What's the Deal with Me?
I don't normally let more than a week slide by between posts, but I don't normally let myself off the hook in general, so this could be a good thing, couldn't it? It's been a busy few weeks and, aside from a pile of assignments, the pressures of AuthorTube, work, my attempts at a social life (go, introverts!), and National Novel Writing Month, I've also reached a fork in the road. In many ways, I feel that God may be calling me to course-correct my post-secondary education, which excites me in many ways, but admittedly, in others, it all feels very daunting.
Maybe that's why I haven't posted as much lately. With everything up in the air and things a little more chaotic than usual on the homefront (four little kiddos will do that), it's harder to find quiet time to mine nuggets of truth and encouragement from my scattered thoughts. I might have time but be in the wrong headspace, or else tap into the right frame of mind but lack the time to write about it. It makes it hard to post as consistently or as meaningfully as I have in the past. Humblest apologies, all.
Fortunately, I have grown. I am not the same frazzled little blogger who launched this site almost three years ago, and if I can't get a post off one week, I guess I can't. I'd so much rather devote my energy to posts that will be truly encouraging and thought-provoking than to filler posts, written to satisfy my quota but accomplishing little else. That's the beauty, I think, of surrendering things to God. He supplies perspective, and through His eyes, our to-do lists and obsessions weigh so much lighter on our little hearts.
I've been thinking a lot about surrender lately. It's one of those magical principles that can permeate all spheres of life with the purest kind of relief and peace if we let it. Surrendering my blog, my channel, and my writing journey to God allows me to actually enjoy them instead of crumbling under their pressure. Surrendering my struggles and idols to God allows me to live more freely and in truer sync with Him. Surrendering my hearts' desires to God allows me to sleep at night, instead of obsessing about what may or may not come to be because guess what? It's out of my hands. Isn't that fantastic???
Like me, you may have a big decision ahead. You may be standing at a fork in the road trying to discern the wisest, most efficient direction to take. You may know what answer you want and because of it, you may be trying to justify a choice you've already made, a choice you've already set your heart on without heavenly consultation. I understand that. I do. So let's you and me both check ourselves before we forget whose direction really matters on the road of life.
Let's surrender our decisions to God. Let Him do the navigating; let Him take the wheel. It might mean some changes; it might mean you spend less time doing some things and more time doing others. It might mean you have to give something up, or loosen your grip on one of your rigid to-do lists, or take yourself a little less seriously because, let's face it, from heaven, we are teeny-weeny little things.
There is freedom from stress, obsession, and productivity traps in surrender. Let's dig through our hearts for the things muddling us and offer them up to God in exchange for the peace that passes all understanding. (Philippians 4:6)