But It's My Calling!
"I think I've found my calling."
Have you ever said these words? Have you ever heard them said? Have you ever wished you could speak these words, that you knew what your calling was and how to live it out?
There was a time in my life when I was sure—I mean, as sure as a fourteen-year-old can be of anything—that my calling was to write stories for Christ. I was so sure that I dropped most of my savings on self-publishing an early draft of a novel, which not only proved to be a pointless investment, but left me with a bone-crushing sense of failure, defeat, and self-loathing that lasted much longer than it should have.
I had been so sure. I thought my time had come. I jumped in with both feet and no preparation and was caught completely off-guard when I discovered first-hand how difficult, taxing, and time-consuming the publishing process really is. Suddenly, my calling didn't look so appealing. I was hopelessly lost on a life-path I thought God had chosen for me.
If you've ever been here, I would highly recommend watching Season 2, Episode 2 of The Chosen. I identified so deeply with Nathaniel that watching his moment of confusion and despair was a little like looking in a mirror... and spoiler alert, things turn out A-okay for him in the episode.
I think the tricky thing about "callings"—at least, as we understand them in our individualistic culture—is that we often get them confused with our gifts. This came up in a Bible study recently, and the point was valid: in order to reach a place of peace and joy, I had to realize that my calling wasn't to write. My calling was to be a Christian and to serve Christ in whatever circumstance he places me in. Writing is a passion he has given me to put toward that calling, but it's not my only means of serving him, nor should it be.
Ephesians 4:1 says, "Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God."
The calling is Christ. The calling is representing him wherever we are right now. My pastor recently framed it in terms something like this: Are you a mother? A father? A daughter? A husband or wife? Are you a teacher? A housekeeper? A carpenter? Are you a writer or an artist or a scientist or working the Tim Hortons' drive-thru? Right now, that is your calling. Be a presence that reflects Christ. See every day as an opportunity to lead a life worthy of your calling.
Remember, we have been called by God. More than the call of our dreams or ambitions or passions, it's His call we should be answering, every moment, every day.